She and Him
by NoCapeNoCrown
Summary: ON HOLD - HOPING TO COME BACK TO AFTER "I'M IM" IS DONE - Sequel to "SHE AND I" - "It's behind us; it's all behind us now. Everything is going to be ok." She reassured. Olivia shook her head trying to believe, wanting to believe Alex, but there was something that haunted her, something that wouldn't let everything that had happened rest.
1. Chapter 1

**Sometimes stories just need sequels. The continuation of "She and I" has been buzzing in my head for a while. Truthfully, I just felt there was more to "Samantha" and "Caroline's" story. If you haven't read "She and I", this story will be a bit hard to follow as it references characters and events that happened in the previous story. Thank you all so much for your reviews, follows and comments in the past. And, I truly am awestruck with the messages you guys have sent with compliments and encouraging me to pick up writing again. –M**

**She and Him**  
(Sequel to She and I)

Ch. 1

The moon peeked inside Alex's apartment casting light throughout the dark bedroom.

Living high up in her Manhattan apartment made Alex a bit of an exhibitionist when it came to nudity.

She loved the sunlight in the day, but she more so loved the moon at night and the way it highlighted the naked body beneath her.

"Have you ever been to Paris?"

Alex stopped kneading the muscles in Olivia's back abruptly.

"Why would you ask that?"

Olivia gave Alex a sideways glance and then pressed her cheek back into her pillow.

"Liv?"

"I just wanted to know if you had ever been. It's beautiful there and I just…" Olivia said defensively, but stopped herself from speaking further.

Alex pressed the palm of her hands back in to Olivia's muscles, between her shoulder blades.

Alex grazed over the deep scar that marred Olivia's skin.

Olivia had only explained that the now healed gash to her back happened when Lucas had thrown her against a stone wall in the alleyway.

In Paris.

"Twice." Alex finally offered. "The first time, I went as a teenager with my mother. The second was in my late twenties with a guy I was dating."

"I had never been…" Olivia said leaving her words hanging in thin air.

Olivia had never given any real details about what had happened in Paris only that Gareth had been good to her, and of course that was where Lucas Quinn had kidnapped her.

Where Lucas Quinn grabbed her, took her in to an alley, and in broad daylight beat her to a bloody pulp and then kidnapped her, with all intentions to kill her.

Paris.

"You're right it's beautiful there." Alex agreed.

Olivia didn't respond and Alex could tell her thoughts were now a million miles away, maybe lost in Paris.

"Honey?"

"Hmm?" Olivia said breaking her trance. "Oh I'm sorry, my mind was wandering."

Her mind had been wandering a lot lately.

Olivia hadn't been cleared to go back to work and she had been spending more time alone while Alex was at work.

That left her to think, to think too much.

Olivia had learned to retreat inside her head and Alex blamed it on everything from PTSD, to Olivia not being able to go back to the job she loved so much, to the short winter days.

But it was Olivia's own patience with her mental and physical state that had worn thin.

Therapy worked some days, other days it seemed to be what sent her in to depression.

Therapy was just another reminder of how her life wasn't the same.

When Alex would come home, Olivia craved to be with her. And Alex did all she could to be with her, to come home at a decent hour, to give her the contact she needed. Most of the time they made love or Olivia would just cling to Alex on the couch, or in bed.

Olivia didn't really care to go out, but she did it for Alex.

If Alex wanted to go to dinner or a movie or see friends.

She had learned to pretend for Alex.

Olivia had survived the worst of it, but the once resilient woman who could compartmentalize and will herself to move on… now struggled with what had happened, and in result who she had become.

Olivia was sliding backwards.

She had been fine… but time wasn't healing Olivia's mental wounds.

Physically she was fine, her wrist, her shoulder... had healed.

But mentally she was sliding backwards.

Alex leaned in placing kisses against the back of Olivia's neck.

She felt the chill bumps form on Olivia's skin.

They had already made love earlier in the evening, but the cravings to be with each other, to touch each other never wavered.

Alex pressed her core in to Olivia's lower back.

Olivia moaned quietly, satisfied with feeling how wet Alex was again.

Alex knew what made Olivia feel alive.

She wanted to make her feel alive.

Alex continued to message Olivia's body this time reaching to sooth up and down her sides with her fingers tips, caressing the sides of Olivia's breasts.

Alex leaned in against Olivia's ear, "Hey baby, it's snowing."

Olivia opened her eyes, looking up turning towards the window to see the first snowfall of the season fall against the night sky.

Olivia then turned, Alex now on her knees letting Olivia lie on her back to face her.

Alex continued to hover, letting her blonde hair fall on to Olivia's skin.

She then leaned in capturing Olivia's dark nipple in between her lips.

Olivia head fell back, lavishing in Alex's mouth on her body.

Olivia dug her fingers through Alex's hair, her diamond engagement ring, the one Alex had given her not long after Olivia had ask her or accepted Alex's marriage proposal, sparked against the moonlit room.

"I love you so much." Olivia said, letting out a breath.

"I love you." Alex said before crashing her lips against Olivia's.

She wanted to make her feel alive.

They kissed passionately as Alex's fingers trailed down between Olivia's thighs.

Olivia's back arched as Alex's fingers sunk in to her.

Alex would move heaven and earth for Olivia and she had proven that in the time they had been together.

From the moment she changed her identity, even if for a short time, and boarded a plane to Dublin to be by Olivia's side.

Alex would do anything to make Olivia forget all that haunted her.

Memories she couldn't forget.

The constant reminder of the physical and emotional scars left on her skin and on her heart.

Alex kissed Olivia passionately as her fingers slid back and forth rhythmically against Olivia's center.

She kissed her, pecking at her skin until she could feel Olivia's breath hitch beneath her.

She heard her moan and clinch Alex's hands between her legs as if to beg for mercy as she came.

To stop and to keep going.

When Olivia opened her eyes she saw the corners of Alex's mouth turn upwards.

Olivia snuggled in to Alex's arms and they lay there in silence until Olivia finally spoke. "I'm sorry I brought up Paris."

"Honey please don't be sorry, it just caught me off guard."

"I can't be afraid of a place, a city."

"No, no and I don't want you to be. It's just…"

"A sensitive subject." Olivia finished as she turned to face Alex.

"Yes it is. And I hate that it is. I don't want to have this fear…. I would love to go to Paris with you someday. I want to go everywhere with you. I want to marry you. I want our lives, your life to be full and I want us both to experience so many things."

"I think I just have this notion that if I go back to Paris, if I stand on that street corner, my life will come back. Maybe I can leave Samantha there and be Olivia again."

"Baby" Alex whispered, brushing Olivia's hair back from her eyes. "It will just take time. You will feel like yourself again I promise."

"You believe that?" Olivia asked honestly

"Yes! I believe that. Don't you?"

"Honestly I did… But, I just feel like I'm losing ground some days. There's just something..." Olivia silenced her own thoughts.

Alex pressed her lips into Olivia's bare shoulder to console her.

"It's behind us; it's all behind us now. Everything is going to be ok." She reassured.

Olivia shook her head trying to believe, wanting to believe Alex, but there was something that haunted her, something that wouldn't let everything that had happened rest.


	2. Chapter 2

Urgh, sorry guys, meant to get this to you more quickly! Thank you so much for the review and follows while I'm trying to get this little story rolling!

This isn't pretty…

Chapter 2

Therapy.

3PM, once a week.

"She asked me had I ever been to Paris."

Maggie's eyes widened to Alex.

"And how did you respond?"

"At first I froze. I couldn't answer her. I didn't want to answer her."

"I don't have to ask why you didn't want to."

"I just don't know what going through her head anymore."

"Did you ask her why she asked you that? Why she brought up Paris?" Maggie asked.

"She just said something like, 'it's beautiful there' and she just 'wanted to know if I had ever been'."

"But the question doesn't seem so innocent?"

"No…no it's not. Of course it's not. It means she's thinking about Paris, she's thinking about what happened. I know she's constantly thinking about what happened and her life there."

"You said before, you felt she was retreating."

"She just seems to be more lost in her thoughts. And she hardly leaves the apartment unless it's for her own therapy, or she likes to run, ironically she says to clear her head... or she'll go out with me, but I can tell she would rather be home."

"Is she still clinging to you?"

"I don't see it is clinging. I love being intimate with her. I love that she wants to touch me and be with me."

"And you don't feel smothered?" "

It's been too long. We lived out lives apart for too long."

"So you you're not worried about how she isn't progressing?"

Alex sat there silent, no longer making eye contact with her therapist.

"She was doing fine…" Alex said shaking her head, then her face fell to her hands. "I just love her. I just want her to be ok."

"Alex you know she's not ok, that her behavior is not ok."

"I keep telling myself she just needs time..."

"Alex you've been coming to therapy for a few months. Most of our conversations are about Olivia. About how Olivia is doing, about her progress or lack thereof. But I'm concerned about you."

"I'm fine."

"You are always there for Olivia, concerned for Olivia. What about you?"

"I'm fine, I know what I can handle."

"And that's why you're here talking to me?"

"I know what my struggles are, but I can handle this. I can help her through this."

Maggie uncrossed her legs and leaned in to Alex.

A serious expression on her face.

"Alex, I'm here to make sure that you are ok, to look after your best interest, to listen, to offer advice and to be honest. I am being honest when I say to you I don't think your relationship with Olivia is healthy. I am being honest in saying I don't think you're fine with what is happening in your life and in your life with Olivia."

"So what am I supposed to do? Tell her to get over it so we can get on with our lives?"

"That's not what I'm suggesting. But I am suggesting that you tell Olivia how you feel, what you're thinking. What your concerns are."

"I don't want her to worry about me. She already worries so much. She already feels like a burden, she asks me constantly why am I with her…"

"But Alex you have never even told Olivia you've been coming to therapy."

Alex's sat up, straightening her spine as if to defend herself, but instead of arguing, she took a deep breath and then slumped back in to the couch.

"I just want my Olivia back. I just want to help her back to who she is, to the woman I love."

"What if this is who she is now? Have you thought about that? What if the old Olivia is gone? What if what happened to her changed her permanently? What if you can't have "your Olivia" back?

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

Alex felt defeated.

She had been forced to rest her case.

She stepped out on the street, her heels clicking against the pavement.

The lump in her throat made her feel sick.

Maybe this was how Olivia felt when she left therapy, because all Alex wanted to do was go home, lock the door, shut out the world and just be with Olivia.

Her Olivia.

Her love.

Her life.

Her "unhealthy" relationship.

Alex looked straight ahead as she walked down the sidewalk, her hands buried in her coat pockets.

She would head back to work, bury the past hour and rest her case.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

He watched her as she stepped out on the street.

He shoved the picture of her in his back pocket.

He was now close enough to hear her high heels clicking against the pavement.

With every step she took, he took another behind her.

She was lost in her thoughts, completely unaware of how close he was to her.

Unaware of the mental notes, and assuring himself that he had found the right woman.

The woman in the picture.

A picture taken leaving an apartment building in London.

Long blonde hair.

Blue eyes.

Pale skin.

Tall, he estimated about 5'10.

Thin.

Heels clicking against the pavement.

Found.

He had found Caroline.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

"Hi babe." Alex called across the apartment.

"What are you doing? Alex asked, stripping herself of her high heels.

"Baking."

"Do you bake?" Alex asked suspicious.

"We're about to fine out."

"Sugar attack?" Alex asked, looping her fingers in Olivia's belt loops before leaning in to kiss the side of her neck.

"Nervous energy."

Black diamonds and gold sparkled, catching Alex's eye.

"Ahh I see. Well it looks amazing." She said trying not to stumble, trying not to scream.

Black diamond earrings.

From him.

"Dark chocolate…." Olivia said dipping the tip her finger into the leftovers, turning to hold up the rich chocolate frosting to Alex's lips.

Alex pulled from her distraction, darted her tongue from her mouth, tasting the chocolate on Olivia's finger.

"That is amazing. I'm impressed with your skills."

"You're just now impressed with my skills?" Olivia asked playfully, now kissing Alex's faded red lips.

"Oh I am fully aware of your skills in other areas Benson, I just wasn't aware of your baking skills, but now that I know! "

Alex leaned in for another kiss.

"This could be trouble!"

"Alexandra if I had known baking had this affect on you, I would have been delivering sweets to you years ago!"

Alex grinned,

"Then there would have been no secret how in love with you I was."

"Damn!" Olivia teased.

"How about I open a bottle of wine and you and I have dessert for dinner?"

"Ahh I like your plan."

Alex opened a bottle of wine that paired with the rich chocolate dessert.

One generous helping of dessert for two, a glass of wine to share, and the rest of the bottle for the table.

Olivia made her way to the couch and Alex followed.

Before Alex sat down she unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor, leaving her in just her white button down.

Olivia smiled, noting Alex's attempt to "get comfy" was seriously sexy.

Instead of snuggling beside Olivia, Alex straddled her lap.

"Thank you baby for the dessert." Alex said as she took the first bite, Olivia offered her.

They kissed tasting the chocolate on each other's lips.

"Tell me about your day." Olivia asked.

"It was ok, nothing too exciting."

"You never talk about work anymore."

"Not on purpose, work is just different now."

"Different how?"

"I don't know... It just is. Maybe it's because you're not there. No sexy detective sitting at her desk, grueling over paperwork that I'm waiting on. While I'm trying to distract her with my legs though I insist I'm running out of patience waiting for her to finish..."

Olivia mouth turned up in a grin.

"But you love your work now. You love what you do, and that you are doing something good for women... But you never come home and talk about your day."

"I guess I'm just preoccupied when I get home." Olivia took another bite of dessert that this time Alex held to her lips.

"I know and I'm sorry." Olivia apologized.

"Liv, honey what are you talking about?"

"You're preoccupied, with me..."

"That's a bad thing? That I would rather give my attention to the woman I love?"

"No, no that's not a bad thing!"

"So why question why I want to be preoccupied with you?"

"Because I want to be preoccupied with you I guess. I want to know about your day?"

It was like she had overheard the conversation she had with her therapist only hours before.

"_**Alex, I'm here to make sure that you are ok, to look after your best interest, to listen, to offer advice and to be honest. I am being honest when I say to you I don't think your relationship with Olivia is healthy. I am being honest in saying I don't think you're fine with what is happening in your life and in your life with Olivia." **_

"Alex?"

Alex sat the desert plate down next to the half empty glass of wine on the coffee table.

"I have to tell you something, but I don't want you to worry... I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. "

"Al?"

"No it's fine, everything is fine. I've just, I've been going to therapy. Once a week..."

"Oh."

"I told you it was fine."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia asked, her hands falling from Alex's waist. "How long have you been going?"

"A few weeks."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry, you have enough to think about."

"Alex, you didn't tell me! Don't you think I should have known? Don't you think I care? That I would support you going?"

"Of course I know you would support me going, I just ... You have so much to deal with..."

"Alex you're all that matters! Of all the other shit in my head… you're all that matters. I want to know when you're hurting, when things get to be too much. I need to know these things,

"I know baby."

Olivia tried to get up from the couch, but Alex held her there.

"No, you don't get to walk away. We have to talk about this!"

"You are the one not telling me you're going to therapy!"

"And you're the one not telling me what really going on in your head!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why you're asking me about Paris? Why you're wearing those!" Alex said pointing to the black diamonds in the lobes of Olivia's ears.

"Alex they're just earrings! I told you in London I would get rid of them! You instsited they were ok to keep"

Alex finally got up from Olivia's lap.

She paced in front of the coffee table, biting at her thumbnail.

"Alex." Olivia called, lowering her voice.

Alex sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of Olivia.

Olivia ran her hand up the side of Alex's thighs, her forehead resting on Alex's shoulder.  
Alex dug her fingers in Olivia silky dark hair.

Olivia could feel Alex taking a deep breath before she spoke.

"I'm scared."

Olivia sat up, looking at the piercing blue eyes that told how frightened she really was.

"I didn't know, you didn't tell me you were scared."

"I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for you." Alex said bluntly.

"What, why?" Olivia asked confused.

"You're not you. You haven't been you since…" Alex clenched her jaw. "You're not getting better…"

"I have bad days!" Olivia said defensively.

"You were having bad days about what happened to you. Now, you're lost in thoughts about Paris, about him. You're wearing the earrings he gave you. What's next, you say his name when I make love to you? You want me to call you Samantha?" She asked coldly.

"Alex! What the fuck!" Olivia stood, now standing opposite of her.

"No Olivia, what the fuck?"

"What do you think is happening? What do you think I'm reliving my life in Paris? With Gareth?"

Alex looked away.

"Alex!"

"Yes… that's exactly what I think."

Olivia let out a laugh in disbelief.

"What you think that I'm crazy that I think my girlfriend may be mentally having an affair with a dead man? That I haven't wondered lately if my girlfriend, the woman that I want to marry, may be mentally fucking this man while she makes love to me, while she FUCKS ME!" Alex said breathless.

Olivia was shaking her head no.

Shaking her head in defense, shaking her head in disbelief.

Tears had welled in Olivia's eyes and they began to stream down her cheeks.

"Baby I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Alex said reaching for her.

Olivia took a step back.

"No, no don't touch me. Just don't."

Alex's arms fell to her sides as she watched Olivia back further away.

"Olivia."

"I just need some space ok." Olivia pleaded.

Now tears were falling down Alex's face as she shook her head agreeing, letting Olivia go.


	3. Chapter 3

CH. 3  
When Alex woke up the next morning Olivia was gone.

Her heart sank when she realized she was lying in bed alone.

The sheets beside her cold.

They hadn't gone to bed fighting, but more so just in silence, content to not be fighting anymore.

Olivia on her side of the bed, Alex on hers.

It was the first night they had not slept in each other's arms since Alex came to Olivia in Dublin.

The first night, the only night.

Alex got up hoping to find Olivia in the living room or in the kitchen just waiting for her to wake up.

Olivia would sometimes get up quietly, read, drink her coffee and wait for Alex, refusing to wake her, insisting she needed the rest.

Instead, the apartment was empty.

A lump in Alex's throat began to form.

The apartment was silent and she was alone.

She couldn't help but play every scenario to why Olivia wasn't there, from their fight to Olivia's state of mind.

Alex walked to the bathroom expecting to see the remnants of a tear stained face, dreading the shower she would take, and the day that she would have to pretend she was ok and hope that the waterproof mascara would last… Instead she saw a pair of black diamond and gold earrings and a note sitting on the counter.

She stood there frozen for a moment scared of what that note might say.

Her name in the familiar handwriting, glared at her.

She picked up the note, reading its contents.

"_I'm so sorry."_

That was all it said.

An apology from Olivia.

Tears welled up in Alex's eyes.

She looked down at the earring on the counter, but didn't touch them.

She didn't want to touch them.

Whatever Olivia had left them there for her to do with, she couldn't bring herself to even touch them, much less toss them in the trash as if they were of no more value than trinket jewelry from a gumball machine.

Alex made her way back to the kitchen, Olivia's note in hand.

Her shower forgotten, she sat down at the counter, reading the words over and over.

"I'm so sorry."

Alex was so sorry too.

She literally jumped when she heard the turn of a key in the apartment door.

It broke the stark silence.

She looked up to see Olivia in her winter running gear, her hat, scarf, gloves; she was juggling two cups of coffee and a small white and blue paper bag.

"Hi," Alex said solemnly, but also relieved to see Olivia.

"Hi, I went for a run, and got breakfast." Olivia said sitting everything on the counter.

As soon as her arms were free, Alex leaped in to Olivia's arms wrapping her own arms around her tightly.

"Alex?"

"I, I didn't know where you were. I though you had…"

"Alex! Baby, no! What did you think?" Olivia asked, holding Alex now so she could look at her. "Did you think I left you? I didn't leave! I wouldn't leave!"

"I just, I got your note and the earrings were sitting there on the counter and… we've never fought like that before."

"I didn't mean to scare you! I didn't mean for you to ever think that I would walk away from you, or leave you! No, we've never fought like that, but I was just hoping you would accept my apology and I want you to get rid of the earrings. I want to prove to you that they mean nothing to me. That YOU mean everything to me!"

"Liv, I know. I do know! But God I didn't mean…"

"Yes you did. You meant what you said last night and I don't blame you. We needed to be honest with each other, we need to be honest with each other."

"I just don't want to fight like that."

"Alex I can't promise you that won't be our last fight, but I can promise you I won't leave you! You're stuck with me! For better or worse remember?" Olivia said holding up her left hand, flashing the diamond engagement ring.

Alex smiled shyly in relief and assurance.

She began to undress Olivia from her winter disguise. She pulled her hat from her head and used the scarf Olivia was still wearing to pull her closer.

"I love you." Alex said matter of fact. "I love you so much that it hurts sometimes!"

"Alex…" Olivia began to protest.

"It hurts because the thought of being without you in unbearable. I love you that much!"

Alex kissed Olivia. She needed to kiss her.

"Hey you're coffee is getting cold and I brought fresh bagels." Olivia said trying to lighten the mood. "I would have been home before you woke up, but the line at Murray's was to the door!"

"I was freaking out, thinking the worst and you were getting me coffee and a bagel."

Olivia's lips turned up.

"An Everything bagel with veggie spread!" Olivia teased, "and you better hurry, you're already going to be late for work!'

"I don't want to go to work."

"Alex Cabot doesn't want to go to work?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

"I just, I would just rather be here with you."

"As flattering as that is, no you wouldn't. I know in that head of yours you have a to do list a mile long!"

Alex grinned.

"Take your coffee, go get in the shower. I'll have your bagel ready to go for you."

Alex picked up her coffee and turned towards the bedroom, before turning back, "Olivia…" Her name slowly stretched along her lips.

"Yeah babe?

Alex smiled, leaving her last confession of love silent.

Olivia grinned, all knowing.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAO

"You're sure it was her?"

"Are you certain it was Caroline?"

"Yes sir."

"You followed her home?"

"I followed her to her apartment building."

"And to her apartment?"

"I wasn't able to follow her in, building is secured. Security guard and the elevator is pass code protected."

"Have you seen her leave this morning?"

"Not yet."

"And no sign of Samantha?"

"No sir. If she was in and out of the building last night or this morning, I couldn't make her out."

"You're still there? You'll find her?"

"I gave you my word sir."

"Is Johnny with you?"

"Yes sir."

"And you know what to do, but not until when you see them together?"

"Yes sir."

"I will arriving in New York in the morning."

"Very well Sir."

The phone went dead.

And focus went back to the doors of the apartment building.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

A knock at the door stopped Olivia in her tracks.

She wasn't expecting anyone and rarely received a visitor during the day unless it was Casey their to entertain on her lunch break.

But Casey didn't typically just drop by unannounced.

Olivia made her way to the dead bolted door, and looked through the peephole in to the hallway.

There stood Max the building concierge, in his suit and tie and an arm of flowers.

Olivia opened the door.

"Hi Max."

"Ms. Benson." Max greeted. "These were delivered a few minutes ago. I'm sorry if I'm a bit confused, but when they were delivered, I was only told they were to be delivered to Alexandra Cabot's apartment. So I'm not sure if they are for Ms. Cabot or for you."

"Well Alex better not be receiving flowers from someone else!" Olivia teased.

Max gave a smile and handed Olivia the flowers.

When the door deadbolt was securely locked once again, Olivia sat the flowers on the counter, admiring them." She grinned, then picked up her phone dialing Alex.

"Hey babe." Alex said answering on the first ring.

"Hey, did you send me flowers?"

"What?"

"Flowers? Max just brought up a huge bouquet of lilies."

"Liv, honey I wish I had thought to send you flowers, but they're not from me."

"Oh."  
"Liv?" Alex waited for a response. "Olivia?"

"Hmm? Sorry I um, well maybe they're for you. There was no card."

"Liv, who would just send me flowers?"

Olivia had backed away from the flowers sitting on the counter, though her eyes never left them.

"Um I don't know."

"Liv… are you ok? You sound spooked?"

"Yeah um everything is fine. It's just you know little things, and then my imagination runs wild."

Alex's "Imagination" was running wild too.

"Honey why don't you have Max come back and get the flowers, tell him to put them in the lobby. Then when I get home we'll figure out who they're from. I'm sure there was suppose to be a card or something, it just got lost."

"Yeah, ok, yeah good idea."

The conversation went silent again.

"Honey are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I can come home."

"No, no I'm being silly."

More silence between them as Alex tried to assess what was going on, what Olivia might be thinking.

"I'll try and leave work a little early ok?" Alex assured.

"Ok," was all Olivia said before they said goodbye.

*The **fleur-de-lis** or **fleur-de-lys**is a stylized lily (in French, _fleur_ means _flower_, and _lis_ means _lily_).


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you guys so much for the reviews and follows! It really helps with the inspiration! :) -M

Ch. 4

Alex was on edge.

She could have jumped out of her skin more than once when her phone rang or someone knocked on her office door.

She even found herself holding her breath when she heard footsteps walking by in the hallway.

She couldn't imagine how Olivia had been feeling all afternoon, and not being there with her had left Alex a nervous wreck.

She looked at the clock, a quarter after 5.

She had tried to be home early today, and every hour since lunch time she had tried to pack her things before she was interrupted again.

She hit send on another email as her phone vibrated against her desk.

A text message appeared.

"Meet me at Anfora in West Village?"

Alex read the text again, surprised to see it was from Olivia.

Alex hit reply, "you're sure?"

"Already there. Meet me."

Already there.

Olivia had left the apartment.

Alex worried Olivia was at the apartment alone, maybe in a million pieces and instead she was at a bar.

"Be there as soon as I can!"

"Ok, love you."

"Love you."

Alex gathered her things ignoring anything left on her "must do" list that had been keeping her from Olivia all afternoon.

Alex caught a cab and made her way to the West Village.

She wasn't certain the state Olivia would be in mentally or physically.

Already there.

But truthfully after the day, Alex wasn't even sure what state she was in.

Mystery flowers to fuck up a day.

Alex stepped in to the dimly lit, and still fairly empty bar, instantly spotting Olivia sitting at the bar.

Olivia stood the moment she saw Alex.

Alex didn't mean to make a dead stop to look Olivia up and down, but the site of her was paralyzing.

She stood there in head to toe black, her leather leggings and heels made her legs go on and accentuated her God given curves.

"You look…" Alex said pressing her lips to the lobe of Olivia's ear. "insanely sexy."

"Thank you baby." Olivia grinned slyly.

"So this must be Alex." The woman behind the bar said as she looked at Alex and then back to Olivia. "You said she was beautiful, but that is an understatement."

Alex smiled, "thank you."

"We're going to grab the booth in the back if that's ok?" Olivia asked, taking the rest of her drink in one hand and placing her hand possessively at the small of Alex's back.

Alex and Olivia sat close in the curved booth.

Alex pulling off her suit jacket, revealing her silk emerald green shirt with spaghetti straps.

Olivia kissed Alex's bare shoulder and Alex's pressed the palm of her hand in to Olivia's thigh.

"Did I tell you how sexy you look?" Alex said now tucking her hand between Olivia's crossed legs.

"For you." was all Olivia said.

Her heightened sexuality.

Her pattern to forget.

Alex raised her brow. "Well an unexpected evening to say the least, but no complaints."

Alex wasn't complaining.

She never did, though she knew it was one of Olivia's coping mechanisms.

"I needed a drink, and a night out with you."

This time so did Alex.

"It was an interesting day."

Olivia agreed, "and so we need to make the evening a little more interesting."

To forget.

No mention of the actual flowers.

"You're already making me forget the day."

"Good." Olivia said as the woman from behind the bar made her way towards the table with a cocktail in hand.

"Olivia said you liked gin and I recommended this for you." She said sitting the perfectly made drink with a thin slice of lime in front of Alex.

"Thank you." Alex said appreciative as the woman left them alone once again.

"You seem to have had quite the conversation about me with the bartender before I got here."

"Well I tend to talk about you a lot."

"Is that so?"

"I may have went on about how beautiful you are, and smart, and sexy… and I may have mentioned you liked gin."

"Well this was a good choice," Alex said taking a sip. "And I can't say I mind you talking about me, especially with such regard."

"Very high regard Ms. Cabot."

Alex leaned in stealing a kiss from Olivia.

Olivia slid her own hand between Alex's bare knees, teasing the insides of her thighs.

AOAOAOAOAOAOOA

Their third cocktail and what remained of "dinner" sat in front of them. Olivia's hands seemed to be a permanent fixture on Alex's body.

Luckily the room, dimly lit allowed for affection more so than public display.

"Can you tell how badly I want you?" Alex whispered against Olivia's ear.

"We should probably get our check." Olivia then suggested with a satisfied grin on her face.

By the time they made it on to the sidewalk and to the corner, while waiting to hail a cab, Alex had Olivia pressed up against the side of the brick building just far enough away from the street lamp.

Her lips crashing and teeth tugging and tongue twisting with Olivia's.

Her hands gripped to Olivia's ass.

"Alex."

"Hmm?"

"We have to go home, if we don't we're going to be arrested for public indecency."

Now it was Alex's turn to grin as she stepped back from Olivia, pulling her by the hand to the street corner as she raised her arm hailing the next available cab.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

"They're together sir. They hopped in cab and we're following them. We're assuming they're headed home."

"How did Samantha look?"

His question surprised him.

"Um Sir…"

"What are you hesitating for? How did she look?"

"She looked happy."

"Happy?"

This wasn't the response he was expecting.

"Sir, she looked happy to be with Caroline."

There was silence.

"Did it appear that she and Caroline are together romantically?" The question was stoic and to the point.

"There is no doubt sir. They were very affectionate with each other in the restaurant as well as outside."

Again silence.

Terrifying silence.

"Get them." He demanded, though eerily calm.

"We will sir."

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

Alex was never the type to be felt up in a New York City cab until Olivia.

There were a lot of things Alex never considered herself doing until she met Olivia.

Being a bit risky in the backseat of a cab was just the tip of the iceberg.

Alex kissed Olivia's neck until the cab came to a stop.

They tipped the driver geniously for putting up with their inability to keep their hands and lips off of one another.

The night doorman opened the cab door as well as he held the door to the building for them as they walked safely inside.

A huge bouquet of lilies sat prominently at the front desk.

Alex looked at them from the corner of her eye.

"I had Max bring them back down here."

Alex nodded, giving Olivia and assuring smile while noticeably squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"How about we get upstairs and finish what we've started?" Olivia whispered as she began to walk towards the elevator, pulling Alex close behind her, and leaving the flowers behind them.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

"We didn't have a chance to grab them sir."

"What!" He said raising his voice.

"They were dropped off right in front of the building, the doorman escorted them inside."

The phone went abruptly dead.

There was no further discussion needed.

They didn't get them.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

Door unlocked, door securely locked again.

There was no stopping for lights or hanging up coats and purses.

Everything would eventually fall to the floor.

Alex had Olivia pressed against the back of the door and they tugged each other's lips back and forth, kissing each other frantically.

"Do you want to talk about the flowers?" Alex said trying to catch her breath.

"Right now?!"

"I just, we haven't talked and if you need to talk…"

"Alex, no I don't want to talk about the flowers. They probably were delivered by mistake and we both over reacted."

Before Alex could protest or get in another word Olivia had flipped Alex against the door and her mouth melded to Alex's while she ran her hands under Alex's skirt, pushing it upwards so she could embrace her bare thighs.

"I want you, God I want you." Alex moaned, refocusing on the task at hand.

"You have me baby." Olivia said as she stepped away from Alex, reaching for her hand, pulling her towards the bedroom.

By the time the back of Alex's knees hit their bed, Olivia was pulling Alex emerald green silk shirt over her head and pulling the zipper to her skirt down.

Olivia grinned as she looked at Alex standing there in her bra, panties and heels. "You're so incredibly beautiful."

Alex blushed.

She always blushed when Olivia said that to her, simply by the way Olivia looked at her when she said it.

Alex then reached for the hem of Olivia's shirt pulling it over her head, not bothering with buttons.

Alex sucked in a breath when she saw the swell of Olivia's breasts and the black lace that covered them.

Jesus she could devour Olivia.

"Lay down baby." Olivia requested.

Alex sat down and went to remove her heels.

"Leave them on."

Alex grinned as she slid back on to the bed, her thin black heel digging into the comforter.

As Alex watched Olivia pull off of her own heels one by one, and then her leather leggings, Olivia revealed her matching lace panties.

"Fuck!" Blurted from Alex's mouth.

"I'll take that as you like?"

"Baby, I love." Alex said raising her brow.

Olivia crawled in bed on top of Alex, and then once again found themselves kissing passionately.

"God, you're so incredibly sexy." Alex said as she watched Olivia kiss down her body.

Slow and steady.

Olivia pulled Alex's panties down just enough to kiss her bare hip bones, knowing this drove Alex crazy.

And it was driving Alex crazy as she was lost in Olivia mouth and everything it was doing and could do to her.

The room filled with silence, and moans and rustling sheets was interrupted by a ringing phone.

Olivia grunted acknowledging the ringing, but she never lost focus in moving closer to Alex's center.

"Baby I think that's your phone." Alex said distracted.

"Ignore it."

"What if its important?"

"No one important calls me anymore."

Olivia didn't mean for it to come out that way.

"Liv!

"Alex... no, I want to have sex with you… not talk on the phone."

Alex couldn't help but laugh as she wrapped her long legs, heels and all around Olivia and now completely ignoring the last ring from Olivia's phone.

Olivia was right, whatever it was, it could wait...

The screen of Olivia's phone glowed in the dark living room. The missed called message appeared with a single name written across the screen… **Martin**.

P.S. Anfora really is a great little bar in the West Village. Highly recommend the drink A Girl Named Carlos :)


	5. To Be Continued

Hello all! Thank you so much for your continued reviews on "She &amp; I" and "She and Him." Because you all have asked (So nicely I might add ;) ) , I hope to continue this story after I finish "I'm I'm." Stick with me guys! -Mel

Thank you so much for your continued reviews on "She &amp; I" and "She and Him." Because you all have asked, so nicely I might add ;) , I hope to continue this story after I finish "I'm I'm." Stick with me guys! -Mel


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